FIVE STAGES OF TEAM DEVELOPMENT

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August 11, 2013

The hardest team for me to leave happened this past Spring-2013. My husband and I had the opportunity to coach a little boy's 7-8 year old baseball team called "Thunder". Clearly, we went through all five stages of team development. Initially, during the "forming" stage, we had to make contact with the parents, introduce ourselves and set up an initial meeting.

Soon, the team developed into the "storming" stage of team development. The children were excited about starting on a new team. Many had never played baseball before. The parents connected and began to cooperate in organizing who would bring snacks, and other responsibilities needed.

Within a couple weeks, the team moved into the "norming" stage. As the children and coaches began to get to know each other and establish a tight-knit relationship amongst each other. The children started learning many of the components involved in the game of baseball.

Eventually, the "performing" stage took over as the students started playing actual baseball games against opposing teams. Soon they learned if they played hard and listened to the coaches and used their new skills, the team would play better.

Finally, the end of the season brought about the "adjourning" stage of development. Our team had a pool party. When my husband gave a little speech about how the players had greatly improved and how hard they worked together as a team, many of the parents cried.  

The hardest part about saying good-bye, was knowing that we would never all be together again as a team. We had spent the last three months together almost every afternoon, and now it was coming to an end.

A ritual we had used before each game was to huddle up and hum the tune "Thunderstruck" (ACDC). Everyone would laugh and smile when we did this, even the opposing teams. This was our special ritual, and we did it one last time at the closing ceremonies.

The adjourning process I will follow for my fellow master's program colleagues, is to sincerely wish them great success in their futures. Also, several of them I am hoping to stay in contact via email.

Adjourning is an essential stage of teamwork in that it helps give closure to the process. In addition, it allows teammates to think back on the positive and negative outcomes. Many teams will work together again on future projects, whilst others will end that particular team forever (O'Hair & Weimann, 2012).

References

O'Hair, D., & Wiemann, M. (2012). Real communication: An introduction. New York: Bedford/St. Martin's.

Non-Violent Communication

August 4, 2013

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Several years ago, I was having difficulties meeting the needs of a parent of one of my students. My stress level was very high at the time as I was supervising 23 students with Autism, or communication disorders. Also, I had the responsibility of supervising 13 teaching assistants, several therapists and may student teacher aids.

This one particular student was one of the higher functioning students and was capable of attending most of the regular education classes with minimal assistance. We initially put him in regular classes, with a group of other students and one teaching assistant for the group of 5 students. The parent was not happy with this scenario. He wanted his child to have their own personal assistant whilst in the regular classroom. The initial meeting became very heated as he told me his son deserved his own assistant. I defensively agreed that he did, but so did the rest of the students, but funding would not allow it. I proceeded to let him know we had non-verbal students with much higher needs that required the few one-on-one assistants we had. Certainly, I was not using the best communicative skills I could have used to show respect and responsiveness in a positive manner. In turn, it only made the parent more defensive and angry. At one point, he should up and took a swing with his fist across the table where I was sitting. Needless to say, the meeting ended promptly with the police being called.

During the second meeting, with administrators  and our security officer present, I used non-violent communication and the 3R's. We agreed to provide a one-on-one TA for two of his most difficult classes. There was just too many other students to allow him his own TA for the entire day. The parent was not happy with this solution, but agreed to try in on a trial basis of one month. Using a less violent form of communication, we were able to agree on a temporary solution.

Eventually, the father demanded the State Department of Special Education become involved and also hired a lawyer. Throughout most of the meetings we had, the father would scream and kick and pound on the desk. However, I noticed that the others involved in the meeting remained neutral, listened intently to his concerns, acknowledged his concerns, and then offered suggestions for resolving some of the issues. During one meeting, the Principal told the father that we would not continue the meeting unless the father was able to give those involved in the meeting the same respect they were giving him. The father immediately sat down and seem to compose himself in a more relaxed manner.

 

By the end of that very long school year, the father and I were communicating in respectful ways towards each other. He complimented me on his son's progress. In turn, I complimented him on what a supportive parent he was. His son remained in my program until he moved up to the High School

Over the course of that school year, I learned several communication strategies that I have continued to use during both my professional and personal life. 

Strategy one: Remain calm, even when those around you are screaming and accusing. Tell them in a calm and passive voice to please give you the respect you are giving them, so that we can all work out a solution to this problem.

Strategy two- Don't get defensive. The one you are communicating with does not want to hear what others need, or don't have. At that moment, they are only concerned with their specific issue. Create an environment where you show you are listening and really care about the person's concerns. In turn, this will typically ease some of the tension and provide an opportunity for a solution to be found.

Strategy three- Use NVC and the 3R's in order to build a cooperative relationship with those around you. When you are dealing with difficult situations, or people developing a trusting relationship can take time. However, if you are consistently using these strategies, eventually a positive relationship or solution to the problem can be found.

Donna- The Communicator

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July 27, 2013

How do I evaluate myself as a communicator compared to how others perceive me as a communicator?

After taking the Communication Anxiety Inventory, Verbal Aggressive Scale & the Listening Styles Profile and comparing them to how others evaluated me, I was surprised about a few things.

My personal scores indicated I am  "People-oriented" and show empathy and concern for others. My verbal aggressiveness falls in the moderate range, indicating a good balance between respect and consideration for others viewpoint, and the ability to argue fairly. My communication anxiety was in the low level- showing I am comfortable communicating in most situations.

My co-worker scored me the same in my listening styles and communication anxiety inventory. She also scored me me in the low range for verbal aggressiveness scale which was a more positive step than I had scored myself.

My husband scored me the same in my communication anxiety inventory. In addition, he scored me in group 2 for listening styles profile- viewing me more as "business-like" and preferring clear, to-the-point communication that outlines a plan of action. Also, the biggest difference in the evaluations between myself, co-worker and my husband- he scored me as "significant" range for the verbal aggressiveness scale-indicating I might cross the line and involve personal attacks that can be hurtful to the listener.

This was the one thing that surprised me the most. It certainly made me more aware of how I am less argumentative at work, and more so at home.

Insights I gained about communication this week- was the self-concept we have of ourselves, are not always the way others see us (O'Hair & Wiemann, 2012). I admit that when I get really stressed out, my husband is the one that I typically go to to vent. He is aware that I need to let steam off, but I am now more aware of how it has made him perceive my verbal aggressiveness, and I would like to improve in that area.

Also, my co-worker commented to me that she has been amazed at how calm I remain at times when it has become very stressful in our classroom. It makes me feel good to know, she perceives me in that manner. However, many times my heart is racing and I am panicking inside, even when no one else seems to know.

References

O'Hair, D., & Wiemann, M. (2012). Real communication: An introduction. New York: Bedford/St. Martin's.

Communicating and Cultural Diversity

July 21, 2013

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I see cultural diversity frequently in my career, especially when I make home visits to families who have recently moved to the United States, mostly from Mexico. Also, I encounter religious diversity when I visit the church my husband was raised in. In many ways it is different than the church I was raised in. In addition, I have several very close friends whose sexual orientation is different than my own. 

When I am with others that may have different values, beliefs or practices than myself, sometimes I find myself acting differently than I would if I was with people that shared the same values and beliefs as myself. For instance, when I am around my friend who is gay, I act the same way as I always do. However, when when are around some of her friends that I do not know very well, I tend to become more subdued and make more of an effort to not say or do something that might offend them. In turn, I think I may come across as "snotty", when I am not like that at all.

Also, when I attend church services with my husband's family, many times I feel out of place because I don't do some of the things they are doing during the service. It makes me feel like I am an outsider and should not be there, even though I know I believe in the same things that they do. 

Becoming an effective and strong interpersonal communicator can help others communicate more effectively with those that are different than what you are used to (Beebe, Beebe, & Redmond, 2011). As a strong interpersonal communicator, one becomes aware of and sensitive to issues and attitudes of those that may be different than yourself (2011).

Also, developing skills on how others communicate can be very effective in learning how to appropriately communicate with each other (2011). In addition, making efforts to learn more about other cultures and embrace the differences can be very beneficial in opening the barriers that may have previously existed.

Finally, first find things that you have in common with others. Once you have established some commonalities, began building a relationship where each gains new insights and knowledge about each other. You would be surprised, how this can become enlightening and life changing for all involved.

References

Beebe, S.A., Beebe, S. J., & Redmond, M. V. (2011). Interpersonal communication: Relating to others (6th ed.). Boston, MA: Allyn & Bacon.

July 13, 2013

Red Sox vs. A's 

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For my blog assignment this week, I chose to watch the Boston Red Sox versus the A's (Athletics). The game was just starting and I put it on mute. Having never watched a game with the sound off, it was amazing how you can just look at the players and audience and know how the game is going.

The non-verbal communicating I observed was frequent and obvious throughout the entire game. A batter came up to bat, rubbing his helmet, chewing gum, looking very stern and serious. He was clearly communicating to those in view, that he was intensely getting ready to hit the ball. When he struck out, he shook his head, tensed his body and frowned. The pitcher smiled at the same time, did a little skip and jumped up. The relationship between these two, clearly showed they were opposing teams and the pitcher was very happy to have struck out the unhappy batter.

When the camera was focused on the audience behind the plate, it was easy to observe many types and ages of people. There were two young boys sitting next to each other engaged in looking at something other than the  ball field. One boy would point and then they would both start laughing. Their relationship appeared to be close siblings or good friends. I noticed them smiling and chatting with each other throughout the entire game. Others were engaged in conversation-heads down, looking very serious. One lady had her arms crossed and appeared to be uncomfortable or cold. The woman sitting next to her did not look happy either. They appeared to not be having a good time at the game. My assumption was they may be a couple, who was having an argument and not happy to be there.

In addition, when a batter would hit a ball, you would see many people jump up and down, waving hats, mouths wide open and they appeared to be yelling as they smiled. One lady was dancing around and shaking a pom pom after a player hit a double.

After the 4th inning, I rewinded the game and turned on the sound. Most of what I had observed with no sound, still made sense. You could hear the crowd yelling for the players and screaming with excitement when certain players came up. When Papi from the Red Sox came up to bat, the crowd went crazy yelling and calling his name. I did not realize how excited everyone was about him coming up to bat, when I watched it with no sound on. The noise level was more prevalent than their non-verbal communication.

Overall, I really enjoyed comparing watching with sound and without. It really is amazing how much we communicate without even using words. My "aha" moment was how excited the crowd was that Papi was up to bat. Many across the stadium were yelling his name or "Red Sox". The noise level was very loud and I never even realized the excitement was so great until the volume was up.

Donna

Greatest Communicator

Great Communicator

July 6, 2013

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The greatest communicator I have personally known was my late grandfather- J.C. Traweek- "Dandy". Dandy was a large man both physically and the warmth for others, he carried around. He spend his life first as a Chaplin in World War II, then as a Pastor and also a Professor at Amarillo College. He was able to stand in front of a church audience and capture everyone's attention, including the very young. He would speak with such passion and conviction that you had no other choice but to listen. When he wasn't preaching, he was counseling those in need, ministering wherever he went, and always making time for his many grandchildren. As a young child and on up into adulthood, I knew I could talk to Dandy about anything. He would listen intently and always knew what to say to make you feel better or look at things in a different way.

He was fluent in several languages and spend lots of times ministering and helping others down in Mexico and South America. Over the years, people from many different cultures would come to Dandy for advice and/or counseling.

He has been gone for over ten years, but I still sometimes get out cassettes we have of him preaching and also conversations that were recorded at special holidays and functions over the years. He powerful voice, was also kind and sincere. He came across as intelligent and humorous, and always had the right answers.

I just hope I can be even half the communicator he was.

Donna

Professional Hopes and Goals

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"I do not want children & families destroyed because of who they are" (Lousie Derman-Sparks, 2011)

The quote above is the hope that I have when I think about working with children and families who come from diverse backgrounds. The photo below shows something I have had hanging in my classroom from the very first day I started teaching in 1993. I have tried to live and teach by the meaning behind those words for all these years. 

In addition, I would like to add as my own last line - "and I showed interest and respect for all children and their families, regardless of any differences they may have had from my own".

Goal for early childhood field related to issues of diversity, equity, and social justice-

ECE Curriculum would expand to include lessons, materials and training related to issues of diversity, equity, and social justice. Early childhood educators and staff would received more advanced training related to these issues. In addition, more resources would become available to families.

Thank-you to our instructor and my colleagues for becoming a part of my higher learning "culture". It was a pleasure taking part in the discussions with you all and also seeing and hearing how we have all grown more aware of issues related to diversity, equity and social justice. May you all walk away from this class- a better person and human to our society and for our children. 

Good-luck with the rest of your classes. I challenge each of you to become an advocate for diversity, social justice and most importantly for our children.

Donna

Children from Senegal (Africa)

Welcoming Families From Around the World

My preschool classroom will be receiving a family from The Republic of Senegal, which is on the African Continent. We are super excited and have made preparations for our new family:

1. The staff does research about the country, most particularly the area where the family is coming from. We study the language, culture, food, dress, school system etc.

2. When the staff is prepared, we make anannouncement to the students that we will be receiving a new family in our group. We then share photos of the place where they are coming from, including children and houses and so forth. We allow the children to ask questions about their language and culture and food etc.

3. The current students make a big "Welcome" sign and special gifts for the new children that will be arriving soon.

4. The staff meets with the parents (an interpreter is brought if needed and available). We discuss goals for the child and program, goals the family would like to see as far as the child and the program. Any special requests pertaining to food, religion, holidays, etc. Invite the family to participate in the program as they are available. 

5. Make sure the classroom is full of books, posters, toys and so forth depicting children from all over the world and even some with disabilities. We encourage all the children to welcome the new student and make them feel comfortable. If the new child is welcome, we have them share items from their country that we may not have seen before such as toys and food items. We also allow the current students to share items that are special to them.

Our hope and desire is that by making the above preparations, we will all feel an excitement and joy at having a new student from somewhere far away come and join our extended family. We also hope to instill in all of the students, how precious and valuable we all are. Also, we hope to instill in these young children how different we can be from each other, yet so valuable to society. Also, even with the differences, there is always something we all share in common.