Donna- The Communicator

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July 27, 2013

How do I evaluate myself as a communicator compared to how others perceive me as a communicator?

After taking the Communication Anxiety Inventory, Verbal Aggressive Scale & the Listening Styles Profile and comparing them to how others evaluated me, I was surprised about a few things.

My personal scores indicated I am  "People-oriented" and show empathy and concern for others. My verbal aggressiveness falls in the moderate range, indicating a good balance between respect and consideration for others viewpoint, and the ability to argue fairly. My communication anxiety was in the low level- showing I am comfortable communicating in most situations.

My co-worker scored me the same in my listening styles and communication anxiety inventory. She also scored me me in the low range for verbal aggressiveness scale which was a more positive step than I had scored myself.

My husband scored me the same in my communication anxiety inventory. In addition, he scored me in group 2 for listening styles profile- viewing me more as "business-like" and preferring clear, to-the-point communication that outlines a plan of action. Also, the biggest difference in the evaluations between myself, co-worker and my husband- he scored me as "significant" range for the verbal aggressiveness scale-indicating I might cross the line and involve personal attacks that can be hurtful to the listener.

This was the one thing that surprised me the most. It certainly made me more aware of how I am less argumentative at work, and more so at home.

Insights I gained about communication this week- was the self-concept we have of ourselves, are not always the way others see us (O'Hair & Wiemann, 2012). I admit that when I get really stressed out, my husband is the one that I typically go to to vent. He is aware that I need to let steam off, but I am now more aware of how it has made him perceive my verbal aggressiveness, and I would like to improve in that area.

Also, my co-worker commented to me that she has been amazed at how calm I remain at times when it has become very stressful in our classroom. It makes me feel good to know, she perceives me in that manner. However, many times my heart is racing and I am panicking inside, even when no one else seems to know.

References

O'Hair, D., & Wiemann, M. (2012). Real communication: An introduction. New York: Bedford/St. Martin's.

Communicating and Cultural Diversity

July 21, 2013

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I see cultural diversity frequently in my career, especially when I make home visits to families who have recently moved to the United States, mostly from Mexico. Also, I encounter religious diversity when I visit the church my husband was raised in. In many ways it is different than the church I was raised in. In addition, I have several very close friends whose sexual orientation is different than my own. 

When I am with others that may have different values, beliefs or practices than myself, sometimes I find myself acting differently than I would if I was with people that shared the same values and beliefs as myself. For instance, when I am around my friend who is gay, I act the same way as I always do. However, when when are around some of her friends that I do not know very well, I tend to become more subdued and make more of an effort to not say or do something that might offend them. In turn, I think I may come across as "snotty", when I am not like that at all.

Also, when I attend church services with my husband's family, many times I feel out of place because I don't do some of the things they are doing during the service. It makes me feel like I am an outsider and should not be there, even though I know I believe in the same things that they do. 

Becoming an effective and strong interpersonal communicator can help others communicate more effectively with those that are different than what you are used to (Beebe, Beebe, & Redmond, 2011). As a strong interpersonal communicator, one becomes aware of and sensitive to issues and attitudes of those that may be different than yourself (2011).

Also, developing skills on how others communicate can be very effective in learning how to appropriately communicate with each other (2011). In addition, making efforts to learn more about other cultures and embrace the differences can be very beneficial in opening the barriers that may have previously existed.

Finally, first find things that you have in common with others. Once you have established some commonalities, began building a relationship where each gains new insights and knowledge about each other. You would be surprised, how this can become enlightening and life changing for all involved.

References

Beebe, S.A., Beebe, S. J., & Redmond, M. V. (2011). Interpersonal communication: Relating to others (6th ed.). Boston, MA: Allyn & Bacon.

July 13, 2013

Red Sox vs. A's 

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For my blog assignment this week, I chose to watch the Boston Red Sox versus the A's (Athletics). The game was just starting and I put it on mute. Having never watched a game with the sound off, it was amazing how you can just look at the players and audience and know how the game is going.

The non-verbal communicating I observed was frequent and obvious throughout the entire game. A batter came up to bat, rubbing his helmet, chewing gum, looking very stern and serious. He was clearly communicating to those in view, that he was intensely getting ready to hit the ball. When he struck out, he shook his head, tensed his body and frowned. The pitcher smiled at the same time, did a little skip and jumped up. The relationship between these two, clearly showed they were opposing teams and the pitcher was very happy to have struck out the unhappy batter.

When the camera was focused on the audience behind the plate, it was easy to observe many types and ages of people. There were two young boys sitting next to each other engaged in looking at something other than the  ball field. One boy would point and then they would both start laughing. Their relationship appeared to be close siblings or good friends. I noticed them smiling and chatting with each other throughout the entire game. Others were engaged in conversation-heads down, looking very serious. One lady had her arms crossed and appeared to be uncomfortable or cold. The woman sitting next to her did not look happy either. They appeared to not be having a good time at the game. My assumption was they may be a couple, who was having an argument and not happy to be there.

In addition, when a batter would hit a ball, you would see many people jump up and down, waving hats, mouths wide open and they appeared to be yelling as they smiled. One lady was dancing around and shaking a pom pom after a player hit a double.

After the 4th inning, I rewinded the game and turned on the sound. Most of what I had observed with no sound, still made sense. You could hear the crowd yelling for the players and screaming with excitement when certain players came up. When Papi from the Red Sox came up to bat, the crowd went crazy yelling and calling his name. I did not realize how excited everyone was about him coming up to bat, when I watched it with no sound on. The noise level was more prevalent than their non-verbal communication.

Overall, I really enjoyed comparing watching with sound and without. It really is amazing how much we communicate without even using words. My "aha" moment was how excited the crowd was that Papi was up to bat. Many across the stadium were yelling his name or "Red Sox". The noise level was very loud and I never even realized the excitement was so great until the volume was up.

Donna

Greatest Communicator

Great Communicator

July 6, 2013

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The greatest communicator I have personally known was my late grandfather- J.C. Traweek- "Dandy". Dandy was a large man both physically and the warmth for others, he carried around. He spend his life first as a Chaplin in World War II, then as a Pastor and also a Professor at Amarillo College. He was able to stand in front of a church audience and capture everyone's attention, including the very young. He would speak with such passion and conviction that you had no other choice but to listen. When he wasn't preaching, he was counseling those in need, ministering wherever he went, and always making time for his many grandchildren. As a young child and on up into adulthood, I knew I could talk to Dandy about anything. He would listen intently and always knew what to say to make you feel better or look at things in a different way.

He was fluent in several languages and spend lots of times ministering and helping others down in Mexico and South America. Over the years, people from many different cultures would come to Dandy for advice and/or counseling.

He has been gone for over ten years, but I still sometimes get out cassettes we have of him preaching and also conversations that were recorded at special holidays and functions over the years. He powerful voice, was also kind and sincere. He came across as intelligent and humorous, and always had the right answers.

I just hope I can be even half the communicator he was.

Donna